Marriage inspiration: bringing out perfection from imperfection

Public displays of affections are opportunities to thank God

Everyday you read updates about wedding anniversaries. You read about men celebrating their wives’ birthdays on Facebook. You see postings about women who thank God for their husbands on their special day. The lyrics of their poetry will make you think that their homes are paradises on earth!


And then you are reading these and wondering why you are struggling in your own home, your own ministry when others are obviously without issues in their own. You feel short changed and almost ask God for an exchange!


My sister and my brother do not be deceived. We all are struggling daily and privately to keep those vows we gave publicly. If you think it is easy or a walk over for others, wait until you are involved in counseling couples!

You will go home and hug your partner for no reason.

Your hubby is not perfect. Your wife is not a saint even if you call her “angel”.


When you hear what people are coping with in their marriages while presenting a picture of bliss to the outside world, you will ceaselessly celebrate that your imperfect partner.


What is inspired wisdom?

You think your wife does not give you sex enough; wait until you hear stories of men whose wives sleep around and in their faces!


You think your wife has dirty house habits, wait till you hear those who have to pay off debts incurred by wives who cannot stop shopping on credit almost daily.


You think your hubby does not give you enough housekeeping allowances, wait until you see wives who carry their homes 100% and worse get beaten for not giving the man food as at when due.


Wait until you see women who do not see their hubby’s salary from month to month. You think your hubby is a skirt chasing Son Of a Bitch, wait till you hear the agony of those with young children abandoned for a “newer model” by their husbands for years .


When your parents ask you to calm down and work on your marriage. When they ask you to take your issue to God in prayer, it is called inspired wisdom.

What you have today it somebody’s prayer topic.


Publicly celebrating your partners is not a sign that we do not fight. In fact, we take them to hospitals even when keeping the silent treatment. We come back home daily on the days you would rather be miles away from them.


When we come out together in a function dressed in “uniform” (okay I admit the truth, I no agree for this uniform matter since my traditional wedding!!!), it does not mean we did not quarrel on our way to the venue or the night before. There is no guarantee we will not fight on our way home for something that you may think is just silly! Marriage is a marathon, not a 100meter dash. It is far different from the glamour of the wedding day!


I have a friend (pls. nnem forgive me for this example!) whose adorable parents are married for over 40years, who quarrel like hundred times daily and yet are inseparable. In fact, the woman will not go to “omugwo” without her hubby because of his failing eyesight!!! The daughters know better than interfere in their quarrels.


It does not mean we have no pains or something like St. Paul’s ‘thorn in the flesh’ issue we have asked God to take away from or “change” in our partners to make our unions better.


These public displays of affections are opportunities to thank God because it could have been worse. It is also a time to pause on this journey to assess how far you have come.

If you continue the celebrations, there is a huge possibility that the state of your union will become stronger. It reinforces your partnership.


Remember to do the celebrations privately too, no matter how annoying you feel your partner is!


“Were ebe gi mara ebe m.”


Jisike nnem/nnam.” Good morning, good people.


By Arinse “Kolombo”

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